I Won Runner-Up In A Costume Contest As Myself

I’m beyond good and evil
So be careful what you feel
You might identify with the Devil
Find your conscience insincere
Stomp your feet up on the stage
Dance faster than the flames
Bring in the new age
Crash with aesthetic waves
Analyze my words however you fit
The most important line is your life
Someone’s always married to their strife
Every wreck on the ocean floor
Spun out on the side of the road
Do you ever feel you could soar?
From the sky, here’s my show
Lines forged in the sun
Intense pressure is how I fly
Nuclear fusion is so much fun
Burning bright across the sky
What do you feel?
Let my pretty face be your avatar
Take a walk in my mind
Get lost.
Remix. Repeat. Remix. Repeat. Again.
Let’s go again let’s go again let’s go.
It’s all been done. Do it again. Once more.
All-American suicide. Revive.
Sell me your toes. One dollar each. Regrow.
I know you slip. I heard from Dante you
will burn, too. Can you feel the fire burning?
There is a spectre haunting this house and
I wonder who it could be. Maybe that
old ghost of Communism is back. Or is
God back? Maybe a broken family.
Let us begin again. Once more. Again.
I’ll tell you over and over. Again.
One more Pan-European patricide.
Perhaps the whole world will sing, too. Somebody
once told me to ask what I know for sure,
but I was not sure I knew what he asked.
Try all you want to make me understand.
All that you can do is remix the words
I’m not sure you know anyway what you mean.
Sound and fury signifies nothing. But we
make do with what we have and what we are
nothing. Negate the being and remix.
Repent. Reiterate and then repent.
Go collect all the gems and free the slaves.
The nothingness that is me is no thing
that is you is the other is just Hell
so to Hell with the other-people! Leave
me be alone. Forget the meaningless
despair, though. You shake your hips. Please don’t stop.
Hide tragedy. Say never again.
Just once more for our justice so they say,
now never again except now we get
a turn for our revenge. Retribution.
But there’s no crime without a victim so
I guess you’re fine. Recapitulate and
decapitate. Remix the words and you’ll
get something new. Reiterate the moves
and you can have some meaning. But feel the
respect for nothingness.
Now how about some personality?
Does your true self want some personality?
In the best of all possible worlds
where everything is in harmony
And my very concept entailing my world
and myself entailed in everyone else
I seek my preestablished fate
If I’d not stumbled the world’d be worse
and if I’d not fallen much the same
But is the best possible world the best for me
or is my joy contrary to the good’s destiny
While the world could not be any better
my lack of faith demands an impossible world
For some impossible world could be better yet
what kind of god can’t surmount that
What kind of god cannot turn the non-contingent
into the contingent–why does non-contingency
entail necessary falsity
And then why is a better world unchained by agony
necessarily non-being?
This I find so opportune.
So opportune.
Hey man, fuck you, too.
I have six in line to screw.
That’s more than you do.
Now how do I look? Disappointing.
How do I sound? Disappointing.
How about I disappoint you more?
A crash and a dash and a lask and a slash
Burning through all the loves (lives) I’d love to smash
Raise your glasses to all of the ashes
I am better than all of my exes
Put you in front of a fancy dress and you glow
And I don’t need your romance because I only want your adoration
But you taught me how to hate with all of your love
I almost forgot you in this scene; I guess that proves I grow
You know I’m always there whenever you feel low
And I don’t need your faithlessness becaue I found the way within myself
So you can trash my name all you want but it’s stronger than you
Weather’s getting colder and I can’t see you (thought I saw you) in the snow
You come and you go and you cum and you go
And I don’t need your fucking god because I am a fuck-God
But honey, let me tell you, your head’s been fucked enough
And I’ve already got something to show
Your wrists are awfully good at hiding the scars below
And I don’t need your dark ambitions because I already swallowed Hades
And dear, we can only dance in the moonlight until sunrise
Yet I’m pretty sure that’s a line you already know
Is that enough personality?
Is that enough disappointment?
Engine of Destruction, Goddess of Corruption
Power with no handle, burning the brightest candle
Fading to a wraith, in need of a grain of faith
A thousand steps down, a blood-soaked crown
Just disappear, please reappear
One thing led to another, find cover
Prayers for transduction, proclivity for induction
A wreck scene photo-op, encountered a suspected cop
Contortion is a hobby, contusions in the lobby
No desire out, two ways about
Half-empty boxes, devillish foxes
Contrived synthesis, actually (co)incidence
Complete deconstruction, mystical production
Self-laceration, ethanol intoxication, anaerobic metabolization
Hypertense salination, just anything will do for this fixation
Another bout of inhibition, aid via inebriation
A deeper form of auto-asphyxiation
followed by disappointing auto-defenstration
Abstraction escaping concretization
No reverence for life’s station
Liberty enacted radically usurping destination
Broken intonation for a melancholy audiation
Visualization of nothing beyond imagination
Barred depression, anxiety, no coming to realization
Depths of disenchantment leave no space for persuasion
Cyclically revolving diurnal and nocturnal peregrination
Evisceration of fantastical illusory forthcoming salvation
Coming to idealize only inevitable nihilation
Analyze my words however you fit
The most important line is your life

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In Hell

Torture all-encompassing
As fires reach from below
Beasts dwell here
feasting on boiling flesh

The monkey plays his horn
to the tune of burning blood
Weeds grow and thrive
in the skulls of the damned

War crimes define the scene
Screaming is the only sound
In Hell.
Where beasts and dragons reign

Clamp the neck
Hang the body
upside down
in Hell

Month Three

And everything fades and keeps fading and will keep fading and this never ends. It just sinks another level lower. Just another bruise I find in the morning that Heaven doesn’t know where it came from because there’s no light left. There’s an unending darkness confronting me at every sign of a return. This is only month three and it’s only getting worse and I have another stomach ache. The nausea stopped being existential about half an hour ago because now it’s just vomit. But after I purge it’ll all be better for a few minutes. I promise you in those few minutes we can start all over again. I’ll try again and we’ll see where things go. This time it’ll be better. This time, I promise, we’ll all be fine. And we’re not fine, no. And everything fades. It hasn’t faded yet. I can see the streams through the streams. Sweating and freezing and shaking and hiding and everyone’s out to catch me now. A pariah, I have stolen the robes of. I’ll tell you this isn’t me, and these aren’t my robes. You’ll tell me this is, and I guess you’ll be right. The room won’t stay still, and I guess neither will I as I cover the outside with the in.

Remix

Another iteration. New. Again.
Again let’s go again let’s go again.
Remix. Repeat. Remix. Repeat. Again.
Let’s go again let’s go again let’s go.
It’s all been done. Do it again. Once more.
All-American suicide. Revive.
Sell me your toes. One dollar each. Regrow.
I know you slip. I heard from Dante you
will burn, too. Can you feel the fire burning?
There is a spectre haunting this house and
I wonder who it could be. Maybe that
old ghost of Communism is back. Or is
God back? Maybe a broken family.
Let us begin again. Once more. Again.
I’ll tell you over and over. Again.
One more Pan-European patricide.
Perhaps the whole world will sing too. Somebody
once told me to ask what I know for sure,
but I was not sure I knew what he asked.
Try all you want to make me understand.
All that you can do is remix the words.
I’m not sure you know anyway what you mean.
Sound and fury signifies nothing. But we
make do with what we have and what we are
nothing. Negate the being and remix.
Repent. Reiterate and then repent.
Go collect all the gems and free the slaves.
If you can summon your heart’s desire.
The nothingness that is me is no thing
that is you is the other is just Hell
so to Hell with the other people! Leave
me be alone. Forget the meaningless
despair, though. Just rock and roll all nite or
love it when you one-two step please don’t stop.
Hide tragedy. Say never again,
Just once more for our justice so they say,
now never again except now we get
a turn for our revenge. Retribution.
But there’s no crime without a victim so
I guess you’re fine. Recapitulate and
decapitate. Remix the words and you’ll
get something new. Reiterate the moves
and you can have some meaning. But feel the
respect for nothingness.

The World Cannot Stay Big

The world was so wide, so great, and so real
you could reach right out and touch it. You could
feel rain, taste sweet, admire the greatness.
Perhaps all good things must fall into
oblivion. Annihilation
forever inevitable, so
take one shot so the world gets a
bit smaller. Take one more as dreams
become the better half of
life. So small becomes the world.
Walls close in. The ends of
the Earth come into view.
Then catatonia
sets in with brief gasps
in between. The songs
fade in and out
and the world gets
so small. Repeat
those words. One
last time. Just
one, always.
Until